understanding myself

i think fyp can really demoralise someone
or at least to me

actually
i havent really reached the state of "complete-demoralisation" yet
but
i have started to think a lot about my future
do i really want to continue my studies after honours?
do i really want to continue working in lab?
do i really want to stay in the field of life sciences?

i think the exchange programme changed my mentality a lot
it let me witness and experience a world which is so much different from the life i have in nus
a world that is so much interesting and enjoyable without much worries on studies

so back to my 3 questions just now
i think im getting to the answers very soon

first, even if i were to continue my studies
i dont really want to do it in nus anymore
unless i get full scholarship or something
which is not really possible, though it's not really impossible
i once had a dream when i was still a kid
i wanted to study in australia
yes, that was my dream which im considering to fulfill
but it's gonna be very very very difficult

second, i doubt that i'd work in lab as a life-long career
even if i were to work in lab
i wont work in academic field
i know my own limit
im not good enough to do academic research

third, i still see hopes in life sciences
even if i dont work in lab
i think i'll still get a job related to life sciences
i think...