Unforgettable Pasts (I)

So bored... shall start blogging and blogging and blogging...
till i find something more meaningful to do...
hence will start with some stories I had had in the past 4 years in NUS...

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Unforgettable Pasts (I)

There's someone that I've been avoiding for the past three/four years...
Someone whom I once felt respectful and thankful towards
but now afraid of...

If you know what I did during my very first semester in NUS
those weird stuffs
then you might know what and whom I'm referring to
(previous posts: 1 2)

Till today, I still do not know what this group is about
and it's uncomfortable to know that they have changed from YDG to YDS
and remains an official students' society in NUS (go check NUS CCA website!!)
I wonder...if any other students ever doubt it like how sang and i did...
and if anyone ever google and expose the stories (but i doubt it since they are still "official" in NUS)

Because of them, I nearly became a christian
But soon after, because of them too, I am not a christian
Nothing against christianity nor christians, I still respect it/them
it's just a not-so-happy experience I had with YDG...

Okay back to the topic
ya
there's a person whom I've been avoiding
the lady who brought me into the group

I don't know why
but I keep seeing her around NUS
in science in arts and even in pgp
when i almost forgot about this group of people
she would just popped out in the canteen, sitting near me

And I don't know why
I have this superb antenna sensing her presence nearby
i can even recognise her back view from far
and almost like an inborn ability, i'd automatically turn and walk away

And yes,
she appeared again today in old canteen
and yes, i swayed away immediately and went to foodgle instead

Almost every time
i could feel that she saw me too
we even had eye contact sometimes
but no greetings, no conversation attempted
like two complete strangers

Why is this happening?
It's either I did something wrong, or she/they were wrong in the first place...
But is it really my fault?
...because I doubt them too much?
...because I believe google and wikipedia too much?
...because I repaid their kindness with unexplained quitting from the group?

Don't know...
Don't think I'd ever know the answer...

But
I'll still need to keep my antenna alert for the next 2 years
for I am still stuck in this invisible cage for another 2 years
HA